Yesterday I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. I’m 42.

I’ve already dealt with breast cancer and never thought it would come back. It did. In my hip bones and maybe my liver.

I go back and forth between hope and despair. Pretty normal I imagine for where I am.

I don’t want to tell anyone. Only a few people know. My parents don’t. I haven’t decided if I will tell them.

I always thought that a diagnosis like this would push me into figuring out exactly what kind of mark I want to leave on the world. It hasn’t done that…yet.